Monday, 8 October 2012

Feeling of being Rejected

Have you ever been rejected??? If yes then this article is for understand what really happens with you during and after rejection. Also up to my knowledge I will also try to explain how to overcome it.

We all have been rejected at many moments in our life; we all know what it feels like. Not good at all...Am I right? Obviously I am, because nobody likes to be rejected in any manner. I have felt it you have and the entire human species on the planet have felt it.

So what you feel, devastated, sad, out-caste  horrible, frustrated, afraid, end of the world, panicked, angry, dishearten,  discouraged, dreadful,  agonized, offended, victimized of what…I can write different words all day for this feeling. But those are not enough to express what you feel when you are rejected.

Okie lets go for the definition first.

“ To refuse to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of, to consider or grant, to recognize or give affection to etc etc “

Our  life’s all problems are in the line aboveJ. Sort it out and we will never have any problems in our life at all. Which is not possible at all, so stop worrying and start living.

Now let’s go on psychology side on this matter,   
Just like physical pain, social/emotion pain exist what we call in words as broken heart and hurt feelings.

The researchers found that during the rejection, the level of activity is visible in part of the brain -- the right ventral prefrontal cortex – Which is Located behind the forehead and eyes, the prefrontal cortex is associated with thinking about emotions and with self-control.

In simple manner when you having physical pain your subconscious mind automatically register the cause of a pain, in same manner our mind register different social activities around us. While we get alarm situation when we about get same physical pain our subconscious mind make decision to avoid it.

Now due to our social and emotional bonding with things living or non-living, when we get rejection it cause social pain and our subconscious mind try to avoid it but the part of brain “the right ventral prefrontal cortex” where we have control to, we  tortured it  with about thoughts. Now these emotional thoughts make us sad and we feel what we feel after rejection.

So in the sense we can say that you are the only one who’s responsible for the feeling you are feeling after rejection.

Now you can understand why you do have rejection in any manner? Simple, you’re not worth for that. Just kidding….. No is not what you think of.

Rejection is a solely based on you is and you’re self only. Now you must be saying what a rubbish it’s real.

Let’s take 2 most common rejection examples.

Have got rejected by him/her …..lolzzzzz

Really? Let’s go in deep in this matter……I love this matter…..”love”

So why you have got rejection in a relationship… plenty of reason behind it
50% rejected cause of appearance
25 % lack of communication
10% family problems
10% personal habits (Jealousy, burden, flirty, personal hygiene etc etc)
5% I don’t know find you’re self

But ask yourself only 1 question does she/he worth for me? If answer comes “NO” then you don’t have to feel this feeling of being rejected because she/he wasn't worth for you and why should you worry about not getting unworthy thing...
If the answer comes yes then you’re a fool. Nobody has a copyright to be worth….everyone in this world is worth. Try next train for the destination fellas…….

Second most common rejection is rejection on Job..

In this matter you’re not qualified or experienced enough simple as that..In 80% of rejection is right on it place, while other 10% rejection happened because we live in the world where corruption is common. If you know any politician or if you have good money you can pay big bosses to secure your job.
 While 5% you can blame your luck and other 5% I don’t know 

It doesn't matter why you have been rejected, the matters is how to overcome it as soon as possible.
In writing it seems very easy, but in real it feels awful and hard to overcome it. In real life there is always a next opportunity waiting on next step. Wont give you much suggestion because you understand more then me but  a little from my side....

To overcome this feeling you only need to do one thing control you’re “the right ventral prefrontal cortex” … ;)

The best part is we are the healer of our wounds. If we control our mind with certain thoughts and emotions for a while then we can control on our feelings also. In this particular feeling if you control your emotional part and stop torturing yourself with negative thoughts, you can over come easily from it.

Study shows that, animal with damaged cortex cant feel social pains. I am not saying that you need to have damaged cortex but this means if you can control your emotions and thoughts this cortex adopt it easily and you will get over from any social pain easily.

In addition for controlling your emotions and negative with your friend, family and people you believe is worth for you. Listen music. Go and explore happiness. Try positive thought to control emotions and stop thinking same and same old stuff that happened with you.

There’s happiness lying in very small things, you just need to find it, you’re special to someone that you have to never forget.

One rejection can’t take decision of your entire life; show must go on in any situation

 Be yourself and control your “right ventral prefrontal cortex”  and keep going for next....

So this is it on Feeling of being rejected….keep reading and keep feeling…. 

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